


Drowning In Nightmares- A Supernatural Fanfiction

by KatelynBri



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-07-10 16:28:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6995635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatelynBri/pseuds/KatelynBri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I never wanted to be a part of this. I never wanted to hunt. I never wanted to find Dean. I just wanted to leave.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Surprise Encounters

I have done this so many times. Check the tracks, have the blade ready, watch your back. Remains scatter the trail, and I am numb to the fear that would have plagued me not that long ago. But this is different, I'm not alone. I don't think its the shifter I'm chasing either. My stomach burns, and my head is swimming.

Keep going.

The concept is still too much for me. Vengeful soldiers after the vengeful dead. Man Vs Demon to make it up for someone they couldn't save. That's why Dad did it, that's why his partners did it. That's why everyone does it .Then you are in too deep, determined to save as many as you can. That's what happened to Dad, that's what happened to his partners, and that happens to everyone. They all end up dead because of it. Now it's going to happen to me as well.

Dad did it for his brother.

His partner did it for his mom.

Now Dad's gone, and his partner probably is too.

And here I am. It's a vicious cycle.

The man is still behind me. Silent, but there. I act like I don't notice, then turn the corner to catch him off guard. Before he knows it he's up against the wall with my knife to his neck.

"Who the hell are you and why are you following me?"

He puts his hands up, genuinely surprised by my reaction.

"Listen kid, I think I'm doing the same thing you are."

That voice. It opens a door I promised myself I would never open again. Out of surprise, I falter back and he regains his stance.

It can't be him. No way.

It is dark here, and I can barely see his face, but I know from his voice it's him. My father's old hunting partner, Dean Winchester.

Family dinners and tea parties. The smell of gun powder and leather. Telling me the salt in all the door ways and window seals were for good luck. The way that same voice was cracking the last time I saw him.

I stumble over my own feet in the trance and my back hits the opposite wall. He grabs my shoulders and lifts me up; "Hey kid, you alright?"

"I-I gotta go." I take his arm off my shoulder and try to leave, but he moves into my way.

"Wait- how old are you anyway? You shouldn't be hunting in the first place, definitely not on your own."

"It doesn't matter, I'm leaving. You can take the case."

"There's no way in hell your eighteen." I can barely see his face, but I can see the concern nonetheless.

He pulls out his flashlight and shines it.

I could see the recognition in Dean's eyes. "Wait, how do I know you?"

I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready   
for this. I'm not ready for this.

"Please just let me go."

Suddenly, I suppose it clicked for him. He places his hand on his mouth and takes a step back. I assume he isn't ready for this encounter either.

He lifts his hand slowly, "...Jade?"


	2. Without a Trace

I went down the stairs two at a time, grinning from ear to ear

They were finally home

I opened the door, Mom behind me. Uncle Dean was there, but not dad.

Why was crying?

"Don't cry." I walked forward and hugged him on the porch. He was Dad's best friend, came every time he was in town. He even had tea parties with me despite how my tiny pink chair set groaned at his arrival.

He hugged me very tightly when I approached.

I assume innocence can blind sense.

Where was Daddy?

He let me down, " Hey darling," his voice was cracking " why don't you go upstairs for a minute?"

I obeyed. Maybe we would be able to have a tea party once Daddy got back.

That never happened.

I heard her. She was crying very loudly. Uncle Dean was talking to her, but I couldn't hear what he was saying.

I peeked down the stairs. Uncle Dean was crying a lot, he had never done that before.

Mom was crying too, she was hiding her face with her hands.

"I'm so sorry. It's all my fault. I'm so sorry."

He saw me from the top of the stairs.

"Where's Daddy?"

His skin went very pale.

Mom looked at me.

"Honey, go in your room. I'll be there in a minute."

I didn't know what was happening. I didn't know it would never be the same again.

Mom didn't come, Dean did. He looked sick.

"Come have a seat!" I love my tea parties with Uncle Dean. They are the best.

He sat down in the pink chair across from me. It was too small, but he sat anyway.

"Jade," He looked at me. He looked sad.

"What's wrong Uncle Dean?" I asked.

I poured him some tea. It was imaginary tea, but we still had tea parties.

"Daddy's...gone."

It looked like it hurt him to say it.

I didn't understand

"He...got hurt really badly."

He swallowed

"And he's in heaven now."

He put his head in his hands. 

I walked over to him and he picked me up. It was too much at once, and I was too young to process it fully.

I walked over to him and he picked me up.

"Was he fighting a monster?"

Uncle Dean nodded his head. "He beat up the bad monster like Superman."

"Did he win?"

Uncle Dean didn't look at me for some reason

"He won, Jade. The good guys always win."

I believed him.

I hugged him, and cried in his shoulder.

He held my head when he hugged me, just like he did whenever I fell down.

He was crying too.

"I'm so sorry Jade."

He left that day, and he never came back.

 

He never called

He never had another tea party with me

He never showed up to the funeral

He became a taboo topic in my household. He used to be my best friend.

I grew up. Without a dad, or a happy mom, or my "uncle".

It was all going to be alright, but it never was.

Dean left.

Mom drank.

Dad was dead.

He left me alone. Took everything and left without a trace.

Mom told me when I was 11. Dean messed up, he made a mistake, and it lead to my father's death. It was a werewolf, and it ripped him limb from limb. The bad guys didn't lose. The good guys didn't win. "Superman" was a piece of meat.

I wonder if he still thinks about me. He told me he'd always be there for me. But he wasn't there when the Daddy Daughter dance came around or when Mom got drunk and decided to start throwing things at me. He wasn't there when I was pulling the glass from her beer bottle out of my stomach in the bathroom, or every other time I needed him.

\----

I nod my head yes, slowly.

He grabs me and hugs me, hard. His chest tightens in what I assume to be an attempt to not cry.

"I-I-I'm so sorry Jade. Oh my god, I thought I'd never see you again."

I cannot help but physically wince. My stomach burns.

He immediately pulls away.

"What's wrong? Are you hurt? What hurt you?"

"I accidentally cut myself," lie "I'm fine."

He nods his head, but I can see his disapproving stare.

"Why are you hunting?"

"Kind of got mixed up into it, I'm on my way to Nevada."

He looks at me how a disappointed parent would."You, alone? Where's your mother?"

I don't answer.

"Jade.." There's an edge to his voice.

"Listen, Mom's changed. I can't stay." My voice is tight.

"What do you mean?" concerned parent now.

"She drinks... and I had to get out."

He puts his hand on my shoulder. "..Did she hurt you?"

I nod my head. I can't look at him.

"Where?" His voice is faint.

"..My stomach. She threw a bottle."

"How bad is it?"

"I cleaned it, but it still hurts like hell. It happened a while ago, but I keep re opening the wound accidentally. "

He sighs and rubs his face.

"Well, I am sure as hell not leaving you here alone."

He walks towards the exit and signals for me to follow.


	3. I Used To Know Her Dad

I've only been in the impala once. Mom and Dad's work schedule collided, and Dean watched me for the day. We went to the park and got ice cream, my favorite memories of him are from that day.  
~~~~~

"You weigh way too little, your spine isn't supposed to poke out like that when you hug someone."

He looks concerned, no one's been concerned for a really long time.

"I just, don't get hungry I guess."

"Unacceptable."

"I'm sorry."

"Do you have a place to go once you get to Nevada?"

I shake my head no, embarrassed.

"You don't have a plan?"

"Dean, I had to go right then. You don't understand." My voice is smaller than I hoped.

"You're coming with us until you are 18."

"I don't want you to get into trouble!"

"And I don't want you to die!!"

I flinch at his volume, and he sighs.

"I'm sorry, but I just got you back, and I'm sure as hell not leaving you on the street."

"I understand."

He begins to tell me about Sam, his brother. He used to mention him when he worked with Dad, how proud he was of him to be going to Harvard, despite leaving Dean. They hunt together now.

After a few minutes we pull up to his hotel, and he leads me up to his room.

He stops me at the door. "Stay out here for a minute, I'm going to talk to him first."

He walks inside, and I cannot help but hear through the thin walls.

"Listen, this girl, I used to know her dad... She got hurt, and she's here, and I want to make sure she's okay. Sam, she has no where to stay, and I really owe her."

I feel embarrassed as he walks out and invites me in. Sam is even taller than Dean, surprisingly. His hair is to his shoulders and he looks kind. He shakes my hand and smiles.

"Hi, I'm Sam. Your name is?"

It's impossible to not smile back

"Jade Carden."

He looks back at Dean. He knows the last name.

"Pleasure to meet you."

"She got cut. I think it's infected, and she refuses to go to a clinic."

Good, don't share the tragic theatrical backstory just yet.

This is probably the most awkward situation I have ever been in, and I've been in my fair share of awkward situations.

I lift up my shirt a tiny bit, to expose a large slash right above my belly button. It looks even worse than it did this morning.

"Oh shit." says Dean.

"That needs stitches. How long ago did it happen?"

"About two months ago."

"Okay, well, if you can't get stitches, we will have to just use butterfly stitches. It will take a lot longer to heal, though. You'll have to wrap it up. We will need to clean it too."

I nod my head. "Thank you."

"I'll go to the store I guess." Dean says and walks out of the door.

I feel extremely out of place, luckily Sam begins a conversation so I don't have to.

"So, you're Matthew Carden's daughter?"

I shake my head yes. "Dean was over a lot when I was little."

He nods, "He talks about your dad a lot."

I didn't know that.

"What brings you to Albuquerque?"

"I'm traveling." I say.

"You're eighteen?"

"No." I look down, I really didn't want to lie to him.

"It's okay, I did it too." He smiles at me and I smile back.

"It was a beer bottle." I just met him, and I'm tired of hiding the truth from people.

"Oh I could tell, I've dealt with a lot of beer bottle incidents."

He laughs dryly, and I begin to realize Sam's upbringing wasn't that far off from my own.


	4. She Damn Near Decapitated Me

Dean came back after about twenty minutes with rubbing alcohol, butterfly stitches, pain medication, medical wrap, and pie.

"This is gonna hurt like a bitch." He warns me, and I grip the thin bedspread I'm sitting on. He pours some of the substance on a tissue and carefully places it on my cut. I tightly shut my eyes and strengthen my grip.

He wasn't lying.

He puts butterfly stitches, practically little pieces of tape for your skin, all across it then wraps the medical wrap all over my torso. He finishes and I fix my shirt.

"Your ribs stick out more than they are supposed to, we need to get you something to eat."

He turns to Sam,

"Pizza?"

"Pizza."

then to me.

"Pizza?"

"Pizza."

"Pizza it is!" He grabs his phone and orders two pizzas, a Double Meat Supreme, and, upon request, another Double Meat Supreme that's half plain cheese.

He hangs up the phone and sits on the pull out couch next to Sam.

"I think we should head back to the bunker for a while, try to find out where Cas is."

"Who's Cas?"

"Castiel. The angel that dragged Dean out of hell."

I nod, not as surprised as I probably should be.

"I'm sure he's fine." Dean mutters, "He just hasn't checked in in a while."

"Have you heard from your mom?" He looks up at me.

"She doesn't know I have a phone."

He nods his head, and asks for a moment alone with Sam.

Of course, I obey, and take the chance to change into the pajamas in my bag.

I can easily hear them through the bathroom door.

"Look, Sam, she really needs a place to stay for a few months."

"That's fine, she can stay at the bunker, but how the hell did you find this girl?"

"She was hunting a damn shifter on her own. Thought I was following her and damn near decapitated me."

Sam giggles.

After a few minutes the pizza comes, and we all find make-do seats around the minuscule table. I remember the last time I ate at a table, the night before Dad and Dean left for their final hunt. The final hunt, the final night, the final everything.

Sam told me all about their last hunt, a vengeful spirit tied to a creepy doll,

Dean told me all about Castiel, and I had a great time.

After dinner, Dean pulled out the pie he bought earlier.

"Pie time!" He gave Sam and I his cheeky smile, but we were both stuffed.

"Fine," he muttered grabbing a fork, "I don't need you guys."

and with that, he started eating the pie straight out of the container.

Sam put some blankets and a pillow on the pull out couch, and I cleaned up the leftover pizza.

We were all exhausted, so after saying thank you for everything, I and everyone else went to sleep.

Although questions still tore at my mind, I slept better that night than I had in a very long time.


	5. Don't Be

I wake up to find the clock say 9:28.

I rub my eyes and sit up, Sam and Dean are putting their things away in their suit cases.

"Good morning!" Sam says, "There are donuts on the table if you'd like any."

I thank him, and Dean tells me we are headed back to the bunker today.

"What about the shifter?"

"I have a friend that will take care of it."

I nod and clean up around the hotel room, as well as grab my small backpack.

I get in the backseat of the Impala, and check the news on my phone.

I couldn't even find anything about me without searching the news app, so luckily I'm not national coverage worthy. I'm surprised my mom told the police at all, to be honest.

Sam eventually falls asleep, and it is just Dean and I.

He pulls the car onto the side of the abandoned road and signals me to exit with him.

Confused, I cooperated and we go on a walk down the side of the street. The sun is setting, causing an orange tinge to the world around me.

"Did your mom ever tell you how it went down that night?"

I swallow and nod.

"It was my fault. I let him down." He kicks a pebble onto the road.

"I, I wanted to try and make it better. Well, I couldn't make it better, but, I wanted to be there. I wanted to be there for you, and for your mom, and just make it not so difficult. But-but your mom, she told me to leave, and to not come back." He covers his face with his hand.

I feel a pit in my stomach. 

"I sent letters to your old address. Birthday cards, Christmas. I don't think your mother ever gave them to you."

The pit manifests into a sunken feeling in my entire body. This poor man...

"I knew you guys were going to have a hard time with money. I sent checks and cash but she always sent them back. I didn't know what to do."

He stops and looks at me. Unable to say anything, I hug him. He always wanted the best for me. 

"Kid, I'm so sorry."

"Don't be."

Eventually, we pull up to a location that resembles a secret apocalypse bunker. Sam opens the door and I am amazed by the walls of books.

We walk in to find a man with light eyes and dark hair sitting at the long table.

Dean sighs of relief, "Why the hell have you been ignoring us?"

I realize this man must be Cas.

Cas looks up at Dean glumly, "I lost my grace, Dean."

Dean sits across from him and puts his hands on Cas' shoulders.

"What happened?" He asks lightly.

"Demons. Three of them. They think you and your brother are up to something, and they tortured me for answers I did not possess."

Dean sighs, "I'm so sorry, Cas."

Cas smiles sadly, "I think I'll be fine."

Just then he notices me from across the room.

"Why do you have a young girl with you?" He looks back to Dean.

"Cas, this is Jade. She's staying with us for a few months until she can get her own place."

I smile and extend my hand to shake his, "Nice to meet you." I smile.

He smiles back.

"How do you know Dean and Sam?"

"Dean and my father were good friends."

He nods, and smiles. He has a sweet smile.

Sam shows me the room I'll be staying in. It's not fancy, but it has a bed, so I am happy. I place my clothes in the dresser and the rest of my toiletries I keep in my bag. I lay out the single blanket I brought from home on my bed. It has angels on it, they are playing on clouds. I smile at the site and sit on the floor with my back against the bed.

I sigh and pull my phone out of my pocket. My phone consists of practically nothing, no pictures nor social media apps or contacts. No spots to show the friends I should have nor any apps to show the adventures I should be going on. A blank slate, if you will.

I never expected to get here. I didn't plan on ever finding Dean, I didn't want his pity. All I ever wanted was answers, but it turns out the questions were false.


	6. These Marshmallows Are Delicious

I awoke the next morning still in a daze of the recent events.

Sleepy, I make my way to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee.

"Hello, Jade." I jump from the voice out of the shadows, and turn to find Cas picking the marshmallows out of his cereal.

"Hi, Cas. Why are you up?"

"I am not used to hunger, but as it turns out these marshmallows are delicious." He lifts one up to show me.

"Would you like some coffee?"

"No thank you, I already had a pot."

"Cas, you've had a pot of coffee??"

He nods, his eyebrows knitted together.

I giggle and make my way to the kitchen.

In almost all kitchens, there is this feeling of liveliness. Photos on the fridge or cheesy jokes on coffee mugs. Remnants in the sink from last night's function. But not here.

I make my coffee and go back to the table.

"Jade, why are you here?"

"I ran off. I'm staying until I turn 18"

He nods, "What is that wrap sticking out from underneath your shirt?"

I look down and notice there's dried blood on the wrap, I need to replace it.

"I got cut."

He nods, "I'd heal it for you if I could."  
I smile, "Thank you very much."

"They were talking about your father last night after you went to bed."  
I straighten up.   
"Dean says he wants you to stay safe." I smile solemnly, he has always been such a protective individual.

He drinks the milk from his bowl, and then proceeds to stand up, go to the living room, and turns on an old dog show. I think we are both equally awkward. 

I clean up his massacre of marshmallows and milk on the floor and decide to tidy up the kitchen as well. I throw on an old Ramones t shirt and jeans, put my hair up, and look at the clock to find it is only 6:30 am. I sigh, I've never done well sleeping at unfamiliar places.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short and late! I haven't been feeling great lately but I promise the next update will be long and come soon :)- KatelynBri


	7. Dynamics From Afar

by KatelynBri  
Share

Something I have never fully understood is how people deal with things differently. I mean, there is obviously some physiological explanation, but it's always fascinated me. Case and point: the Winchester brothers.  
I noticed as soon as I saw them functioning together the underlying dependance each had on the other. They've seen the same things, traveled the same roads, and I watched their dynamics from afar.  
There was a darkness under Dean's eyes, he fixed his coffee black with a hearty "splash" of alcohol and collapsed at the table. Sam's mechanisms seemed almost out of a television show, fixing himself a healthy breakfast then sitting, seeming radiating sunshine the entire time. I found it interesting.

A case came in not too long after.

Sam was on his laptop, how he seemed to spend almost every second, researching for a case in Colorado. Another Djinn.

Upon more research, I discovered this Djinn has different origins than a regular one. I couldn't put my finger on it, but typically Djinns attack unhappy individuals, whereas this one was attacking well rounded, established people. I don't know why it stuck out to me so much, but I realized something must have been off.  
I told the brothers about it, and Dean merely shrugged it off. After everything, I'm sure he still saw me as a little girl.  
Sam, however, seemed impress with what I've done. He told Dean how I'd be a good addition to their hunts. I smirked.  
I begged Dean to let me go, my stomach was healing and I was getting exhausted of staying inside. After much persuasion, I won. 

\-----  
Oh my,, fucking god? I updated? Let me know what you think please


End file.
